That's so.......Gay

I spent a chunk of my Saturday hoofing, with this as my main scenery:


And no, I don't mean the guy with the rainbow umbrella hat. The other fine-looking fellow is Mr. Cleveland Leather 2006 and he was fortunate enough to ride in the back of a convertible with another similarily clad man, while a nice herd of us followed behind carrying signs representing the various parishes of the local UCC.

It is not often that one of your oldest and closest friends will call you up and say, "What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna march in the Gay Pride with me?" And it is probably less frequent that the recipient of such an inquiry will respond, "Hell yes. I am so there!" - Especially when both are straight women. Yet Keri's denomination, the United Church of Christ, is the type of organization that will not only co-sponsor Gay Pride Day in Cleveland, but show up in droves, young and old, shaking pom-poms and chanting "Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Homophobia's Got to Go!"

Me? I showed up to see the cute gay boys in tight shorts. Not really (although that's a nice fringe benefit), in truth I'm just a fuschia boa wearing, vodka drinkin, sucker for the cause.

Don't think it went without a hitch. It wouldn't be a Gay Pride Parade without those good ole predictable God Hates Fags folks trying to put a crimp in everyone's day. You know the type: bullhorns, fire and brimstone, their Bibles missing those pages about "love thy neighbor" and "judge not" - they're a lovely group and I hope to have them over for dinner soon. (I'm sure the Cleveland Police Officers monitoring the scene feel the same way) It was the only time during the entire event I was embarrassed and ashamed - but not for me or for anyone else celebrating their right to exist - for them. For their empty feeble lives so full of hate and anger and resentment. I don't know how anyone can be so full of bile and live a happy and productive life.

Dykes on Bikes saved the day; no amount of shouting can compete with the roar of a Harley. And the marching band from Cincinnati who respectfully dropped to one knee between the parade and the protestors, filling the air with the strains of "Jesus Loves Me." These things could only be topped by rounding the corner and being greeted by the swarms of parade watchers applauding, shouting and whistling their appreciation of a church supporting their humanity. It made me grateful too.

As they say -

God is listening,

("and let no man put a period where God put a comma" - Gracie Allen)

I may not exist, but at least I'm not Spam

I've been vindicated by Blogger, but not so by Yahoo. I recieved the following missive:

Hello,

Your blog has been reviewed, verified, and cleared for regular use so that
it will no longer appear as potential spam. If you sign out of Blogger and
sign back in again, you should be able to post as normal. Thanks for your
patience, and we apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.

Sincerely,
The Blogger Team

It's unfortunate but predictable that their reply is nothing but a form letter. I really would like to know just how their 'bots are determining which blogs to flag as potential spam, cuz whatever it is, it's in desperate need of tweaking!

E tu Blogger?

I log onto blogger today to catch up on my posts only to find one of those "word verification" boxes at the bottom of my 'create post' page. What the hell? I think. Naturally there is an orange question mark which I immediately click, only to be told that my blog is suspected of being a 'spam blog'. For your reading pleasure:

As with many powerful tools, blogging services can be both used and abused. The ease of creating and updating webpages with Blogger has made it particularly prone to a form of behavior known as link spamming. Blogs engaged in this behavior are called spam blogs, and can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site.

Did blogger just call me "irrelevant, repetitive and nonsensical"? sheesh.

At the conclusion of this explanation of what the White Knights on the Virtual Steeds are doing to prevent spam blogging, there was a hyperlink to the ever-famous "take a quick survey and tell us how we're doing". So I did. And in the 'comments' box at the end, this is what I said:

Admittedly you probably caught me on a bad day since I seem to be experiencing a drought of customer service in corporate america, online and off, but just how on God's Green Earth did you flag my blog as a spam blog? Let's see, I don't post every day, I cover a myriad of topics, I actually express myself coherently (I say in defense of your help article's phrasing of "nonsensical text"), and I don't overuse hyperlinks. So please, prove my current attitudes incorrect about large businesses (you are google; you qualify), and explain to me in a thorough and comprehensive manner how my little blog came to your attention.

The current rundown: Ebay hates me, Yahoo thinks I don't exist, and Blogger thinks I'm a spammer. I think I'll call my therapist.

Yahoo - my butt

I've been looking for alternatives the EE (see prior posts) and stumbled upon yahoo auctions. First I registered for user name and all that, in effect activating an account, then discovered that in order to buy or sell at yahoo auctions, you must complete an 'identify verifcation' process. I fill out the form, which mostly asks typical personal information questions, then wants either your social security number or driver's license number. Easy enough, right?

I instantly receive the dreaded "we cannot verify your identity at this time" message, followed by "if you believe you received this message in error, please contact Yahoo Customer Care".

Yes, they actually call it "Customer Care".

Over the past four days, I have submitted the frickin email form four times. The first time, I received a reply asking for more information, which I gladly provided. I then recieved an email that stated (I should have this wording memorized by now):

Hello,

Thank you for writing to Yahoo! Auctions.

We cannot verify you to buy or to sell in Yahoo! Auctions. Your Yahoo! ID is still valid for logging into Yahoo! and accessing other properties.

Thank you for your interest.

Naturally, I replied and inquired further. As of today, I've received no response. Since then, I have submitted the Customer no-Care email form two more times, both times to recieve the above correspondence (and yes, I replied to both of those!), and my favorite, I actually called Yahoo. The girl on the other end of the phone informed me that since yahoo auctions was "free" (and I put that in quotes because she actually said, "well, it's not really free"), they don't offer phone support. In fact, they don't offer phone support for any of their so-called "free" services. She literally told me that no one at Customer Care "is trained" to deal with yahoo auctions, and that they "don't know anything about yahoo auctions".

I actually looked up yahoo's corporate information and am contemplating sending a letter to Jerry Yang, original co-founder of the company who still sits on the Board of Directors. I can't believe this is what he intended. Then again, maybe he's transformed into every other corporate executive in contemporary America and made so much money that he really doesn't care.

The Evil Empire, continued...

I suspect you'll be seeing quite a few posts regarding these idiots over the next however many months, so be forewarned....

As a recap, when ebay's 'bot dinged me, it has this to say:

Sellers may not communicate to buyers that they accept, or will not accept, specific forms of PayPal payment.

I replied to them stating I had two paypal accounts, one for business and one for personal use. (The business account is tied into score's business checking account; we gotta get paid for that advertising somehow, yes?)Therefore, I never said I wouldn't accept a certain type of paypal payment. This was their reply:

PayPal account holders may not split payments between a Personal PayPal account and a Premier or Business PayPal account by directing buyers paying with credit card to pay their Premier or Business account and buyers paying with PayPal balance or bank account to pay their Personal account. Any business payments that are split and made to a Personal account will be subject to fees applicable to a Business or Premier account. Personal accounts are for personal use only. If you would like to do business through your PayPal account, you must use a Premier or
Business account.

So let me get this straight - I'm not allowed to tell a buyer my paypal account is personal and therefore only accepting of e-checks and existing funds payments, yet I'm also not permitted to provide good customer service by offering my buyers an alternative means of payment, even if it means I'll be hit with paypal's business fees on my personal transactions?

Let me revisit a portion of the original email from ebay just to clarify:

Sellers must have a Premier or Business PayPal Account or be willing to upgrade from a Personal PayPal Account to a Premier or Business Account if sellers receive a credit card payment.

And....

Please be aware that you are not required to use PayPal as an accepted form of payment for your listings. However, we hope that you will realize the protection and convenience that PayPal offers.

Translated, that means I have two choices: upgrade to a premier account and be dinged .30 + 2.9% of every transaction (on top of the listing fee and final value fee that ebay charges; and that's at bare minimum), or not accept paypal at all.

Sounds to me like ebay is the internet equivalent of the mob - pay us protection money or we'll burn your restaurant down. No wonder it's turning into just another revenue stream for retail giants. No room anymore for those Pez collectors who built the company in the first place.

I'm Beginning to Understand Why They Call It "Feebay"

I awoke this morning to the following email, explaining why Ebay removed one of my auctions. It said:

However, your listing was in violation of eBay's Paypal Payments policy.

Your listing(s) contained the following information:

In description and seller's payment requirements: If your paypal payment is a credit/debit card and not e-check or existing funds, please let me know at time of payment so I may forward the correct contact information.

Sellers who offer PayPal as a payment option in the listing process must accept all forms of PayPal payment, without restriction.

For example, it is *not* permitted to state:

"I only accept cash transfers with PayPal (no credit cards)"
"I only accept payments with PayPal over $15"

Sellers must have a Premier or Business PayPal Account or be willing to upgrade from a Personal PayPal Account to a Premier or Business Account if sellers receive a credit card payment. Sellers may not communicate to buyers that they accept, or will not accept, specific forms of PayPal payment.

Please be aware that you are not required to use PayPal as an accepted form of payment for your listings. However, we hope that you will realize the protection and convenience that PayPal offers.

Are they fucking kidding?!? You can't FORCE me to accept or not accept a certain payment! Paypal offers a 'personal' account which accept cash transfers and e-checks. Period. Even more, nowhere on my listing did it say that I WOULDN'T accept a credit/debit card payment, just that the buyer had to inform me if it was such.

Why? Because I have ANOTHER paypal account that is a business account that will accept these types of payments. However, it is not the account associated with my ebay account, and to do so would require a set up a different ebay account thereby wiping out my history, feedback, etc. which I shouldn't have to do, especially to appease the money grubbing assholes at Ebay, just so they can nab 2.9% plus .30 per transaction. Hell, they're already taking a minimum .20 listing fee (which I'll have you know NO other online auction site charges) and 5.35% final value fee (which is exactly why people inflate their shipping and offer low starting bids. They're trying to save themselves the damn fees!). Ebay not only charges $15 to open a store, they THEN charge 2 to 3 cents for EVERY listing in it! Tell me another online venue that does this???? Yeah that's right - NONE.

The fact is, I've seen many many listings that say "we only accept echecks and cash transfers from Paypal" or "we don't accept credit/debit card payments from Paypal". But ebay is so big they only run random robots around and ping people once in awhile. What pisses me off is that because of their size, you can't argue with them. They really don't care. They've raised fees every year since their inception, not to mention bought auxillary companies like Paypal just to pad their earnings. Because of that, the little guy is being pushed out by the companies who have figured out ebay is yet another revenue stream for them.

Ironic considering it was the Average Janes and Joes that made Ebay what it is.

A Bird in the Hand?

This is a nest that some, apparently, not so intelligent birds built on my open window. Perhaps they are music aficionados because that particular room houses a myriad of instruments and equipment. Granted, the only complication this creature's choice of real estate has caused is my inability to close or open my window, but the irony in its selection is that my back yard is COMPLETELY WOODED.