Monday, October 25, 2004

Tomes I've encountered recently:

"Beautiful Bodies" by Laura Shaine Cunningham. Short on plot (purposely) but indepth complex examinations of six different women and their relationships with each other. There's a character reminiscent of Betty in "Mona Lisa Smile", and there is a similar revelation, but somehow I still wanted to smack the hell out of her.

"White Oleander" by Janet Fitch. Screw the movie, this book is really about the universal striving for conditional love and security, the lengths humans will stretch to obtain it, and how screwed up they are if they can't achieve it.

"In the Cut" by Susanna Moore. Once more, screw the Meg Ryan film (never saw it, don't plan to). This is a short but stark bit of woman-narrated erotica and murder mystery with a disturbing but mesmerizing finale. Not for the faint of heart though.

"Heart full of Lies" by Ann Rule. While men overwhelming maim, rape and murder the women in their lives, somehow it's more disturbing when the crime is commited by a woman. Especially when she's managed to charm the world and be considered a 'perfect mother' to her two boys. *shudder*

Tomorrow: Adventures in air travel....

Saturday, October 23, 2004

I arrived home last night to 794 pieces of Score!-related mail. Probably thirty of them weren't spam.

Here's the abridged version (Chunks of a longer version to follow):

1. Awoke at 3:30am. Highly unamused. Threw part of Charlie's blanket over his face so he wouldn't wake up and demand a romp outside.
2. Showed ID at airline check-in.
3. Plane was delayed due to "voice activation system" malfunction.
4. Showed ID to board plane.
5. Ran what seemed to be the entire length of Miami Intl Airport, including up and down a set of escalators to locate baggage claim.
6. Showed ID at cruise line terminal.
7. Had photo taken before boarding ship for ID purposes.
8. Had lunch. Ordered a bucket of beer.
9. Nap interrupted by obnoxious muster drill.
10. Dinner.
11. Drank alot w/ friends and flirted a boy at one of the ship lounges.
12. Passed out.

Day two - Nassau
1. Breakfast
2. Flopped into a poolside lounge chair as the sun began to crawl skyward.
2a. Awoke when calves began to burn - slathered with SPF.
2b. Turned over on my back.
2c. Awoke when rays singed my face - slathered with SPF.
2d. Awoke again. Rubbed SPF on my sensitive cleavage. Dabbed some on my peeking tattoo for good measure.
3. Lunch.
4. Reading and drinking by the pool.
5. Blew off formal dinner.
6. Attended Captain's party w/ free booze.
7. Returned to favorite lounge, drank w/ friends and flirted more with cute boy.
8. Passed out.

Day three - Coco Cay
1. Jumped ferry to private island where alcohol muddled brain attempted to dry out in large hammock.
2. Lunch for hangover.
3. Ferry back to ship where very drunk and obnoxious man almost got slapped upside his head.
4. Presented ID to get back on ship.
5. Champagne and chocolate covered strawberries before dinner.
6. Wine with dinner.
7. Drank vodka with friends and flirted with cute boy in lounge.
8. Passed out.

Day four - Key West
1. Presented myself to Customs (!!!!) then had breakfast.
2. Located the Green Parrot bar (look for more on this later) where I had my first drink of the day at 10:30am.
3. Hoofed to the 'southern most point of the U.S'.
4. Presented my ID on pier.
5. Presented my ID on boat.
6. Lunch.
7. Reading and snoozing by the pool.
8. Pre-dinner cocktail party w/ free booze.
9. Another bottle of wine at dinner.
10. Had a drink during comedian.
11. Packed and fell asleep watching Animal Planet.

Day five - home.
1. Woke up too early.
2. Ate breakfast too early.
3. Left ship too late.
4. Really, REALLY ran the entire length of Miami Intl. Airport in attempt to catch plane.
5. Found Duran Duran magazine in back of airplane seat and created a small scene.
6. Layover in Chicago.
7. Drove home to a very happy greyhound and my own bed.

More sordid details as the pictures are developed!

Friday, October 15, 2004

If I haven't said it yet, I'll say it now - VOTE in this election.

My caveat to this edict - Know WHO and WHAT you're voting for.

This may help:

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Approximately 6:50pm last night I received an email from Keri with the following subject line: CRAP!!!DAMMIT!!!!

I'm infinitely amused when I receive emails like this from my loved ones cuz they're such honest reactions to the human condition. But I'm sure you're wondering the reason for this fantastic outburst.

The clock on my PC is between five and ten minutes fast. I re-set it regularly but the harddrive must be on amphetamines because it quickly resumes it's faster than normal pace. So when I received an email announcing a live chat with DuranDuran at 6pm est and my clock read 6:30pm, I instantly became manic.

If you know anything about these situations, you know it's never as simple as hitting a hyperlink and arriving at your destination. No, they want you to register, then they ask you a bunch of profile questions and if you're really unlucky, they'll send you an email that requires you to 'confirm' your registration.

All while my clock figuratively ticks....

I run through all this beaucracy, thankful for my cable modem, only to arrive a full minute before the boys. Why? Cuz of the cursed clock! So I take a few deep breaths, amusing Kimmie along the way with errant IMs (I believe her statement was "You're KILLING me with this!"), and then I give Keri a quick call, picturing her frantic bolt from the dinner table to perch in front of her computer.

Simon and Roger - the first objects of my adolescent lust. (see live review) But the questions these folks were asking were just inane. "what's your favorite song off the album?" and how many times do they have to hear "I'm so happy you're back" and "You're the best, I love you!"??? Some women even had the screen name "Simons-bedroom-toy" - I was embarrassed for her.

So I concocted a very intelligent inquiry and clicked to submit. I kid you not I began to sweat. I had to take off my sweatshirt, then wipe my palms on my jeans. All over a stupid internet chat question?? I am in a bad way.

Naturally my question wasn't chosen (cuz they prefer the lowest common denominator topics, I think) but it caused me to reaffirm my determination to procure an interview sometime in the near future. I certainly can't do any worse.

Back to the CRAP!!!DAMMIT!!!! ......
The body of the email read: So I bolt up to the computer after dinner just to see the diva lady person moderator, whatever say, “That’s all we have for today…BLAH BLAH BLAH”
I guess the transcript will be posted tomorrow so I’ll wait for that…sniff sniff.

So I sent her the transcript I was copying as I participated.
Cristy to the rescue.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

First there was the concert -, now there's a new CD called Astronaut. First I received Sony's weekly email informing of the release date.

I squeaked.

I proceeded to enter every contest they had listed in the email and start muttering incoherently because I was still on dial-up hell and couldn't stream the video for the "Sunrise". My companion in craziness came to visit that weekend while dear Ole Dad was dealing with the gas line for my dryer (A girl is never too old to let her Dad take care of her!) when I broke the news of this new CD.

She squealed.

She told me that while escorting some visiting international folks for her job, she took them to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and ran across Duran Duran paraphenalia including John Taylor's scrapbook from the early days when he clipped articles and photos from various teen mags. Worse, Keri said she recognized many of the photos from her very own collection. Her boss inquired about any prescriptions she might be taking.

We then reminisced about our encounter with them, laughing at our complete regression but acknowledging that a second round probably wouldn't fare much better.

The next morning I get this email, subject line "Please note the time this was sent" (6:28am)
I was just barely awake, trying to eake out an extra fifteen minutes of sleep by putting on VH1 for Abbey when IT was on – the new Duran Duran video. I instantly sat up and watched with the same thirteen year old grin I always had for the previous videos. We are just pathetic!!! I was swooning, SWOONING I say!!!! Now I am wide awake but hell, it was WORTH it.

Approximately a week ago, I receive another Sony newsletter that lists the television appearances of Our Guys as they promote their new album. Naturally I send it straight to Keri, and she replies:
I'll tape 'em all! Watch me!!!! :)

Yesterday I get a phone call in the middle of the afternoon and her first words are "I'm watching Good Morning America that I taped this morning - are you watching this?!?"
I laugh and reply "Not yet but I did tape it."
"Oh My God, they're playing Hungry Like the Wolf!"

We chat a bit and OF COURSE the minute I get off the phone I run in and watch the broadcast. Yum, yum, yum....

Last night I discover that not only is there a CD, but a 'special edition' version with DVD footage, the video and cool packaging. This morning I realize I screwed up my taping of "live with regis and kelly", pout a little but then run off to Best Buy to purchase salve for my wound. Literally I picked up the box and held it to my bosom. My long suffering SO rolled his eyes and walked away from me. I practically skipped down the aisle.

Arriving home, I have this email from Keri with subject line "OMG, Check out this chance to win" containing a link to a contest to win a trip to see our favorite Boys live.

It's true, we've regressed. It's true, we're probably driving everyone around us crazy. Whatever they say about us is true, I'm sure of it. But hey.....

We could have worse hobbies.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

I develop crushes on ridiculous people. I never do anything about these adolescent yearnings cuz I'm a good girl (hey, control your derisive laughter!), but I am afflicted none the less. And yes, I am aware that most folks think I'm secretly a 13 year old girl when I prattle on so. Kimmie, however, commisserates and understands. Here is what she said about my latest:

Sirencristy: Someone is going to have to explain to me why I find Courtney Taylor of The Dandy Warhols so sexy.
SirenKimmie: There's no explaining, it just is.

And with that, I am transported to a place of zen-like proportions with my delicious thoughts of Courtney....

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Best thing I'm seeing and hearing these days: Bowling for Soup's version of "1985" (it was originally written by Mitch Allen and performed by SR-71, but since they don't have a record contract...)

Most putrid thing: Britney Spears soft-porning her way through Bobby Brown's "My Perogrative". I simply lack the words....